One litre of tears...

I just finished watching one litre of tears on you tube. This show made me fall at least 500 ml of tears.... I couldnt stop crying from ep 5 onwards...

This story is about a girl, Aya Ikeuchi, 15, who has spinocelleberall atrophy. Its a disease involving the degredation of the cerebellum, a part of our brain. The person who has it will evetually have difficulty in coordination, and in the end cannot walk, have difficultly swallowing, and will lead to death. There has been no cure of the disease till the present....

When Aya first learned of the disease, she said her sinseh (doctor) " Why did the disease choose me?" Life is cruel, life is brutal.... quoted Aya. After watching this show, I realised life is fragile, especially when you cannot take control of your health.

It makes me ponder.... Has life been really that bad for me? To date, I've been in pink health. There's nothing wrong with me, physically and mentally. Not to say i'm in total control of my life. God plans my life, but in the very least, I plan how to control what I have right now, physically and mentally. I choose to be lazy and not exercise; I choose to be sad because I cannot get what I want... But little did I think that I choose all these... Choosing not to exercise is my choice; doing a double degree is my choice; coming to Australia was my choice; I have the ability and therefore I choose to do it... Life is never smooth sailing, but somehow I kinda regret feeling the way I feel the past years... Life is never fair... Life will never be smooth and happy all the time... Deal with it! Why should I dwell on things that are not what I should have? Shouldnt I be contentd to have a good health, a good body, a good mind? Shouldnt I take control of my happiness? Shouldnt I take control of my health? Shouldnt I take control of my career? Shouldnt I take control of how I feel? Shouldnt I?.....

For everything reading this, this post was written for me... For me to read this and feel positive about life... To feel positive about what I am going through right now... To feel positive about my environment... Because to date, I am healthy; I am not mentally handicapped; I have my family who cares about me; I have friends who care; and most importantly, I am in charge of the consequences I choose... I should never complain, because although it can be painful at times, at the end of it, my life turns out to be beautiful...... and at the very least, because it is my life. My own unique life that no other previleged one can own................................................

Cherish

8 more days to perth....

The feeling of being there hit on me today. The feeling; dreadful, sad, helpless.... It's all coming back now...

Every single day since I've been back in Singapore has been the happiest days of 2006. It kickstarted a well 2007. Ive been hoping that God will be kind to me to grant me happy days to end my final year in aussie.

Days spent at home literally with my family around has been awesome. No words need be spoken. I am glad to have their company. My maid being around all day doing the housework, us joking around about my sister; when my sister comes home from school and our constant arguings, teasings and fights; my parents coming home from work. Having dinner together, watching tv together. My grandma coming to see me almost every week.

You have no idea how its like being in perth. In a land where no one will be there for you when you need them, when all you want is just someone to talk to, to chit chat for a while, to have a family there. When all you do is shut yourself away from the world, when no one is really interested in talking to you. When your life revolves around msn, where you will die because no one is online to talk to you. When you cry yourself to sleep most nights when you are feeling really upset.

So people in Singapore, cherish all you have with your family. They are the ones who will be willing to sacrifise for you, no matter what. I learned to cherish them, and I realised the importance of kinship. Nothing beats that...... Its hard to cherish them when they're constantly around, but when they're no longer with you and life's so hard out there, you'll miss them sooo sooo much, and you'll appreciate all that they've done for you....

unprepared!

After talking to my darling girlfriend, I just realised that I'll be leaving for Perth next Sunday! And that happens to be the first day of chinese new year!

I'm so unprepared... I just drafted out a list of things to buy back to aussie, like soap refills, foolscap pads, medicine etc.

However, I'm not mentally prepared to go back yet. There's still lotsa stuff concerning perth which I havent been able to think about and make plans yet. I'm still soaked up in the relaxed, happy atmostphere in Singapore, which I've longed for when I spent a painful, yes, painful 9 months in Perth.

So unprepared, and sad, yes, sad to leave Singapore.

I shudder to think what's in store for me back in aussie.....

why why why?

2007 has been a good year for the girls in the Lee family.

CPA Australia just had their first exhibition in Singapore. I got a chance to know more auditing firms which I didnt know existed in Singapore. After the exhibition, I got my heart set out at one of the auditing firms. As most of them were recruiting, the most they could offer was an internship, which I'm pretty happy about.

Later I attended my uncle's wedding anniversary. I met up with my ex boss, who happened to be there as well. He offered me a place after I graduated (Also an auditing firm). He told me if things dont work out after working at the Big 4, there'll always be a place for me. Somemore the workplace is at Orchard, 3 stops away from my house!!

My cousin, Sulin, later announced that she'll be getting married in October this year. Damn! I'll be away in Perth, so I wouldnt be able to make it for 3 cousins wedding! I was chosen to be 3 of their bridesmaid! Or at least, I was chosen to help out at the wedding (SObbbsss). All 3 of my cousins are girls, and I'm pretty close to all 3 as there are not much girls in the Lee Family.

Sometimes I wonder why I've chosen to do a double degree. 2007 is a good year for work and relationships, well at at least for me. Accounting firms are frantically looking for ppl, and Love seems to be in the air in Singapore. If I've only done a single commerce degree, I would've just graduated, and hot in demand as an accountant! And now, all I'm awaiting is more torture and shaping up in aussie...

Everyone's telling me that time will pass quickly... Yeah, my double degree better come up good in future!! If not, I'm gonna lose all the opportunities that I would have now! :'(

My highest opportunity cost ever..........................................

Flu Bug...

Been having a flu since monday.... Been taking meds, panadol for cold relief but it doesnt seem to work.... Have been staying home for the past few days, trying to get well.

Just finished watching the vineyard man on youtube. It's a sweet, romantic comedy. If you like the princess from goong, you'll like this show as well...

I'll always remember this phase that the male lead, Jang Taegki said... "Go search for the Korean footballer Park Jis Sung's leg on the internet, and you're bound to be in tears... Although his legs are bruised and scarred, they're the most beautiful legs in the world. After going through hard work, you'll find that life is beautiful..." Pretty nice phrase, innit?


Hopefully I'll get well tomorrow, cos I wanna go shopping!!!!