One litre of tears...

I just finished watching one litre of tears on you tube. This show made me fall at least 500 ml of tears.... I couldnt stop crying from ep 5 onwards...

This story is about a girl, Aya Ikeuchi, 15, who has spinocelleberall atrophy. Its a disease involving the degredation of the cerebellum, a part of our brain. The person who has it will evetually have difficulty in coordination, and in the end cannot walk, have difficultly swallowing, and will lead to death. There has been no cure of the disease till the present....

When Aya first learned of the disease, she said her sinseh (doctor) " Why did the disease choose me?" Life is cruel, life is brutal.... quoted Aya. After watching this show, I realised life is fragile, especially when you cannot take control of your health.

It makes me ponder.... Has life been really that bad for me? To date, I've been in pink health. There's nothing wrong with me, physically and mentally. Not to say i'm in total control of my life. God plans my life, but in the very least, I plan how to control what I have right now, physically and mentally. I choose to be lazy and not exercise; I choose to be sad because I cannot get what I want... But little did I think that I choose all these... Choosing not to exercise is my choice; doing a double degree is my choice; coming to Australia was my choice; I have the ability and therefore I choose to do it... Life is never smooth sailing, but somehow I kinda regret feeling the way I feel the past years... Life is never fair... Life will never be smooth and happy all the time... Deal with it! Why should I dwell on things that are not what I should have? Shouldnt I be contentd to have a good health, a good body, a good mind? Shouldnt I take control of my happiness? Shouldnt I take control of my health? Shouldnt I take control of my career? Shouldnt I take control of how I feel? Shouldnt I?.....

For everything reading this, this post was written for me... For me to read this and feel positive about life... To feel positive about what I am going through right now... To feel positive about my environment... Because to date, I am healthy; I am not mentally handicapped; I have my family who cares about me; I have friends who care; and most importantly, I am in charge of the consequences I choose... I should never complain, because although it can be painful at times, at the end of it, my life turns out to be beautiful...... and at the very least, because it is my life. My own unique life that no other previleged one can own................................................