A new hairstyle for a new beginning...

Out of total randomness, I decided to put a picture of my new hairstyle on facebook and updated my status " A new hairstyle for a new beginning". I got this out randomly when my managed asked me why go perm my hair. I answered " A new hairstyle for a new beginning". It is a new beginning. A working adult, stepping out onto the comfort zone as a student. Earning my own keeps. Realising how hard it is to earn money. Realising the ugliness in this so called "world" we live in. Stepping out of my naiveness. Jumping out of the well I've so been in for the past 24 years. Realising not everything is oh so sweet. So what I expect. Yes. What I expect. The oh so perfect world, the world which revolves around me catering to my every fantasy, every dream, every desire. What an ugly world I realise. There's only one motto to live on: WHEN LIFE GIVE YOU LEMON, MAKE LEMONADES. Make the best out of everything you've got. Maybe the sad thing is like what eme said, she finds it tragic that I dont even realise that I am better than what I think of myself to be. Is that really what it is?

Anyways, I realise weekends really go by very fast. Its only been 2 days and I am off for the next week of work. May god bless me... Sales sales sales... I will dread this word by the end of Nov....

4th day of work

Oh man...

On the 4th day of work, I received over 100 plus e-mails. All full of resumes. I placed 2 jobads, one on JobsCentral and the other on JobStreet. I was trying to read through 100 plus resumes. I had to be v. familiar with the job descriptions. Which I am not in the 4th day. Cust service, reception, admin, HR etc etc etc. And I was thought by my senior not to be very quick in clearing my e-mail. Haiz... she told me to be more aggressive. I am beginning to doubt if I can do sales. Then weijun told me during dinner not to give up on the 4th day of work cos i'll nvr know whether i can do it on the 4th day or not.

First day sucked cos my other colleague, Amy who was supposed to turn up didnt turn up for some family reason. Haiz.. Then no orientation only until second day. Haiz, so sian.... Then for next few days is info overload. then my senior say degree liao should be able to do all these. etc etc etc. Then first day nvr go out to eat. Cos we eat in 2 shifts, and i got the late shift. Then senior dont want to da pao. So end up eat in office. Then second day also the same. Super sian...

But 4th day ok lah. Got to to tanjong pagar exchange to eat Yong tao foo. Today seniors all goin haloween party. They ask me to go but I dont want... damn tired and just wanted to chill...

Oh man, my blog is beginning to sound monotonous.... oh no, working life's gonna be like that soon...

First Day of Work...

First day of work? Sucks.. I hate first days at work...

And I hate for Dec to come...

I hate to put everyone in a spot..

But its best not to meet. Cos it hurts so much....

I just hope ppl ard me know what to do and how to react. Becos rite now, I dont really want to meet.

Please understand... that's all I ask...

Will's Birthday Video

I logged on facebook and I saw a youtube birthday msg for Will. It's 11 mins long and it was done by Joel, his ex housemate. Joel didnt sleep the whole night making the video, going ard everyone's house (so many places!) and editing it. I was sooo touched. I cried for half the duration of the video.

For my whole life, I've never had that kind of surprise before. I think its so sweet of Joel to do that. Talk about a real surprise! Good on you Joel!

Happy Birthday Noelle!

Happy Birthday Babe!

I know you're reading this =)

happy yet sad at the same time...

I've gotten the job as a recruitment consultant. My manager offered me the position and I would be starting work on the 28th. Finally goes my worry of not being able to find a job with the coming recession.

However, this happiness didnt sustain me for long. I still feel sad. I still cry when looking at facebook. This hurts so much so much... I wonder how long it'll take for it to heal. Want to shout out loud, tell the whole world how I feel.

Can anyone hear me? Can anyone understand? Can anyone lend me a shoulder to lean on? Can someone offer me a hug?

The Winner Takes It All

I don't wanna talk

About things we've gone through

Though its hurting me

Now its history

I've played all my cards

And that's what you've done too

Nothing more to say

No more ace to play

The winner takes it all

The loser standing small

Besides the victory

That's her destiny

I was in your arms

thinking I belonged there

I figured it made sense

Building me a fence

Building me a home

Thinking I'd be strong there

But I was a fool

Playing by the rules

The gods may throw the dice

Their minds as cold as ice

And someone way down here

Loses someone dear

The winner takes it all

The loser has to fall

It's simple and its plain

Why should I complain

Tell me does she kiss

Like I used to kiss you?

Does it feel the same

When she calls your name?

Somewhere deep inside

You must know I miss you

But what can I say

Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide

The likes of me abide

Spectators of the show

Always staying low

The game is on again

A lover or a friend

A big thing or a small

The winner takes it all

I don't wanna talk

'cause it makes me feel sad

And I understand

You've come to shake my hand

I apologise

If it makes you feel sad

Seeing me so tense

No self-confidence-

But you see

The winner takes it all

The winner takes it all

The game is on again

A lover or a friend

A big thing or a small

The winner takes it all

The winner....

horrible dream...

I had a horrible dream last night... It was almost identical to the horrible months ago, except that now the female had changed. I woke up breaking cold sweat. Then I realised how much I still cared for ***, how much I still like ***. This time round, I didnt dream of running to another person's house, asking that person to comfort me when the horrible dream happened. Becos the other person had hurt me deep as well. Too deep, I realised. So in the end, I realised how much I like these 2 ppl. Sounds funny isnt it? Sounds ironic isnt it? In the end it was me who would be affected so badly. Now I dont even want to see *** if *** is together with ***. I have no idea if my heart will be repaired by then. But its the first for me. First to let my heart be wounded by then. The wound is really deep. Will it heal by 2 months time? I have no answer... Just please dont let the tears rolling like that. Its not nice to always be seen like this....

Somewhat nostalgic

I'll let u guys out on a secret. I've been on facebook everyday looking at the pictures my friends posted. Friends in Perth mainly. All the birthday celebrations, trips etc. Everytime I see my friends having so much fun, I get so jealous. Here I am in spore struggling to get a job. I'm constantly frustrated of not being able to work, even though I know how much work sucks. I really want to move on, move on so that I can get my experience over soon, so that I can look forward to planning my next step. I know everyone's turn will soon come and I'll be first to step into the workforce, but still looking at the pics in facebook sucks. Nonetheless, I still like to see what they have been up to.

I really miss my friends in Perth. Every little thing I encounter, be it getting an interview, facing probs in spore, the first ppl I wanna call are my friends in Perth. I really miss hanging out with Noelle, I miss talking to my mei, I miss Jasmine knocking on my door everyday after she finishes work, I miss hanging out with the ISS people. I miss MCW, I miss spring feast, but most of all, I miss the friendships forged through ISS and MCW. U know, the friends I know still stay with me till now. I now meet up with Angel and Yingsi in Spore, I met up with Jeanette a few days ago. These are the ppl I've been out with most often.

Sometimes I wonder whether things will change when I go out to work. One year is not long but its not short either. A lot of things can change within a year, esp when 2 ppl are in diff environments. Priorties become diff, goals and thinkings change. I know that cos many of my girlfriends now embrace a diff mindset, one I am yet to be accoustemed to. I am looking forward to what working life brings, the network, the stress, the tiredness, but somehow I wish I had people who were in the same phase as me. Helps to know someone out there is facing the same things as I do. And deep down inside I wished ALL the ISS and MCW peeps were from spore. And everyone would return to spore eventually so that we can all be reunited in spore. Hang out or do stuff. But thinking of that, its actually the diversity that brought us together. Learning from each other, changing, evolving to be a better person. For that I'm grateful. To date, I've nvr looked back and regretted spending 4.5 years of my life doing a double degree. I just wished I could have done else, like HR.

No matter what, I tell myself to be strong, to embrace what is coming. And to make the best use of my life. My goal? To put awesome pics on facebook and make everybody awe at my photos. hahaha.. As if...