Mistakes..Where my life led to in 2006...

Sat down on my computer doing my 60% lab report. Random thoughts came into mind. Random became reflective so I had to blog it down before it all fades away...

I came to Perth this year wanting to make the best out of uni life. I had made great plans. Getting a car, working this year to pay for my car, learning drums, spending good quality time with my housemates. Given circumstances have changed for me this year, I became optimistic of what my life would be this year.

About 2 days ago, when I handed in one of my assignment, I asked myself " What am I doing in Perth? What's the reason of studying so much? Why did I choose to torture myself and do a double degree when I could have done a single degree and be back in Singapore for good in a month's time?" I couldnt sleep that afternoon even though I did not sleep the previous night (as usual doing last min work for my assignment; my groupmates spent more than 24 hours in my room figuring out how to use access for the assignment)

Wrong planning. Wrong Focus. 2 reasons why life turned out for me the way it did.

1) Wrong focus:

• One would be devoting ALL my time to studying. Intention: becos I am doing all 3rd and 2nd yr units, and it equals more workload therefore more time and effort on studies.
• Second: Relying too much on my housemates. Thinking that it would be fantastic hanging out with my housemates. Do stuff together. Like shopping, eating out every week, watch movies together.

2) Wrong Planning:

• 1st priority: studying
• 2nd Priority: Getting a job then a car (I never made it to the second one)

Guess what turned out?

Zero social life.

Zero Church life.

Housemates time? Only dinner time when we cook. Although we do speak everyday, we dont hang out together.

My only life was studying. ONLY.

I was too dependent on my housemates for support, leisure. In the end, I got frustrated and disappointed when I didnt get what I expected. I flared up and showed my temper a couple of times, all in the sake that they knew how I felt and try to do something about it.

I gave up finding a job in the first semester because I put too much emphasis on my studies. When I couldnt get good results, I was sad.

Other social life? Nah. I could count the handful hangouts that MBGU has. It didnt turn out the way I had expected it to be.

Church life? I didnt give it much thought either. God wasnt on my mind this year. Prayers I did? Less than 20.

Other unexpected events came into place. There was one. One person which I had met in uni which changed my life. In a good way of cos. Because of that person, I had motivation to study. Because of that person which I feel a strong vibe about, I was happy everyday. That person keeps me alive, keeps me sane. And talking to that person has been fantastic. It kept me going. To the point now that I dont know where we stand.

It was a mistake. 3 mistakes, 3 different sources that I shouldnt have relied on heavily in the first place. Because in the end, I get disappointed. When the 3 sources dont satisfy me, I get upset. I lose all rationality. And I mean it. I cant think. I cant be rational.

A good thing that came out of this: A learning experience.

I need to rethink my priorities for next year. And I have come up with a resolution for next year. Every minute of my day in 2007 has to be fulfilled.

Fast forward please... Make time fly till the 15th of November. So that I can sit down and reflect on my life in 2006.

And I want to apologise to my housemates for being so moody, seemingly irritated, stressed, upset, and unfriendly at times.