I hate it when I am being ignored, but most of all, I hate it when I say is being ignored

What a far cry for my psychology lab today as compared to my seminar yesterday. I am feeling really pissed right now, so I am gonna take this entry to vent it all out. Sorry for those who have to put up with this post. More positive entries to come, I promise.

I came to my lab feeling quite happy. Then I saw my groupmate, who seems not to acknowledge me the moment I came in. Right, never mind, I took the initiative to talk to her. I didnt know how to start, so I just used the most basic qn. The Weather. Since it has been hot these past few days and now it starts to rain and its cold, I asked" a screwed up weather ya?" and her reply was "uh-huh" and was just quiet the whole way through. Fine, I thought. There's no point trying to initiate another conversation, so I just kept quiet. Then my another groupmate came and she started chatting and talking to her.

Before the lesson started, I heard them discussing about the ethics application that we just handed in. Then that groupmate started to say "oh, Nicole put it in but I took it out cos i thought it was wrong." We got our comments back, and a lot of the things that I've said or put in the human ethics form was actually on the comments, which, MY GROUPMATES TOOK IT OUT COS THEY DIDNT REALLY THINK IT WAS CORRECT OR RATHER THEY DIDNT THINK IT WAS IMPORTANT. Bloody hell. There are 2 things I got out of this. First, I didnt really think I felt like part of the group from day 1. Maybe its becos I didnt really have a stats background, which was quite important when we did my proposal. But I did try my darnest best to contribute to anything I could; writing the application form, doing the refrences, editing the consent form and doing the discussion of my proposal. And guess what? They deleted it because they felt it wasnt important, which brings me to my second point. It means that what I say doesn carry any weight at all! Ah, I did my ethics application when I was doing 310 last year and of cos I know what should be put in and what should not be put in!

I cant feel my level of "piss-ness" (If there is such a word) going down anytime soon. This isnt the first case. On numerous occasions, I find that when I say something, no one seems to respond to anything I say. When having casual conversations with a group of friends, when I say something, everyone just keeps quiet and then change to another topic. Or when I say something, no one responds to what I say. It really pisses me off, even thought I just let it go afterwards. I am beginning to question the way I say things. Do I not put a strong stance to what I say? Or is it just that they hate what I say? Or they think that "oh, what nic says doesnt make any sense and ah, I dont really have to reply to what she says?"

I really have no idea. AFter this post, you guys better remember that I hate being ignored when I say something and you dont respond. And after this entry, I realise sometimes when I say things, it does actually carry some weight, especially when it comes to group work. Call me proud, haughty, stupid. Whatever. I dont really care. What I need to do now is just to let this one go... Ugh...